yeah, so i've just been really upset about people lately and i just decided to finally give in and write about it. Basically it deals with two groups of people, my family and the group i RP with on Sundays.

Firstly, my family. So long and irritating story short, my mom has fallen in love with someone. He's a old high school boyfriend reunited through Facebook back, oh what, 3ish months ago? I flew out once they met, we met him and it was a little awkward, then we flew back to Alaska. So anyway they're really infatuated with each other, talking for hours and hours on the phone at night and sending emails to each other during the day. It's nice to see my mom happy with someone and the guy is nice, but my dad...well, my mom broke the news to him about her BF and now my dad is really depressed and sad because he still loves my mom and had always hoped that since over the years none of them had really dated or shown any interest in finding a new mate, that my mom would eventually just decide it would best to get back with him since they have kids and grandkids together. so my dad is basically taking this really, really hard, and it's really been difficult watching him deal with this because i can practically physically feel his pain like a knife to my heart. he keeps talking about back when me and my little sister were little when my mom first moved away with us how depressed my dad was and how much he missed my little sis and I, and then all the feeling of guilt and anger he's had deal with in not being able to be by our sides and raise us. So in order to try and make him feel like a dad again and realize he's loved, i've been trying to offer to live with him. I know it makes him happy to hear that, and even though i'd rather find an apartment or something and live on my own, i just feel so awful that my dad is hurting so bad that i just want to do whatever i can to make him happy. Of course livin with him will suck since he's still hard-core Mormon and i'm Pagan, and we basically believe completely different things and he's very obstinate about the things he believes are true. oh well. i could vent more but this part is already getting long so i'll stop now.

okay so now for the second group, the sunday RP group. My feelings about them are all sort of mixed. it's a tabletop RP, and while it's really fun to hang out in a group of friends, they're really just so passive-aggressive and judgmental, it really makes it hard to truly have any fun with them. the people are just difficult to deal with, one of them being my oldest sister Klantyre. so the newest drama involves a girl name Rowan. all the rest of us just have so many problems with her, mainly because she's a hypocritical, over-critical feminist who will randomly not show up for games over sends us emails the morning of the game with some lame excuse. her characters are all the same, and really don't do that much. lately she's tried to get better about her characters, and it's sort of worked. she can be really fun to talk to, and her probs aside she's a fun person. lately though we've all in the group hit our limit with her after she posted a message in her Facebook account about the group that made us all pissed off. we were all angry and were wanting to all sit down and finally talk to her about all our probs with her, but my sister, ever the suck up, is once again telling us that we shouldn't say anything to her, that since she talked to Rowan and Rowan seems sort of in agreement that she's had probs, that instead of telling Rowan out right should just sit back and see if Rowan gets better. but we've had to deal with so much crap from Rowan over the years that it already feels like we've given her a million chances. and the other day my sister mentioned that real friends don't pussy-foot around problems and sugar-coat words, which is at extreme odds with what she wants us to all do about Rowan.

so now for anyone who's still reading, here's the biggest question that's been on my mind for a long time; what do you think makes a real friend? Should you just keep quiet about things your friends do that bother you, or should you tell them exactly how you feel? What do you think a real acts like period? Do any of you have a friend who you think is a true friend? If so what are they like? I've just been wondering about this for a long time, because people tend to make me nervous i don't generally like being around people, even friends and family, and a lot of friends i've had in the past have tended to end up stabbing me in the back or doing something that proves they were never very good friends after all, so i haven't that good of 'friend' experiences. Pretty much the people i consider as friends are those peeps who check in on me here on DA. so i want to know what you all think about friends.